Day 20 of Life - July 8th

The staff believes that Sha has a touch on pneumonia, but some tests are still pending. However, based on his chest X-ray, that it is what it looks like. So, for now, they are going to give him another dose of Lasix (the diuretic), which will make him pee out his extra fluid. They are also going to give him a small dose of morphine to make him more comfortable.

It seems that no matter what else is happening with the little man he has no problems with is food! He is now up to 5 cc of breastmilk every 2 hours. He loves his food...I think he gets that from me!

Auntie and Ma's Pics

Disclaimer: Will not be quite as good as Pa's!!!

Trying to self-extubate.

Today's little blanket...those are Ford trucks. Poor Pa!

Celebrating the 1 kg mark.

Ma's attitude...look closely at the hand!

Reaching towards love.

Almost time to eat.

Where'd he learn this position, Ma?

Little angel.

"Is it time to eat yet???"

Full and happy.

"This is the life."

Ma performing his oral care.

The porthole.

His favourite position.

Day 19 of Life - July 7th

Out little Sha is fighting strong. He seems to be opening his eyes more and is still sleeping lots! He has a temperature, which could be a sign of another infection, so the docs are likely going to hold off on his Indomethacin treatment, until they figure out what the problem is. Tests are being done. Another infection is a concern, as each infection can be a danger. He continues on a fairly high flow rate (55) and his oxygen requirements are sitting at about 46%.

Sha is still incredibly fragile. Every day, every minute, every second for him is a fight. With the help of some wonderful nurses, doctors and staff, as well as the love and support of his parents, he is fighting for his life. IF we are likely, and I pray that we are, he will get to come home around the time he was due, September 25th. If there are major complications, then he will have to stay in-hospital longer. I always try to be positive about the little one, but I feel that its also important to be realistic. Even though he is doing really well right now, this does not mean that he is out of the woods. Having an infant in the NICU is like a rollercoaster ride...there are good days and unfortunately, there are bad ones. The worst part as family and friends of Ma and Pa is that we want to help in any way that we can...believe me I know. That's why this blog is so incredible! Everyday, Ma and Pa read your loving messages and know that you are there, even though they can't see you, supporting them...only a phone call away. Thank you so much, all of you, for your continued support.

His official head ultrasound results are in and he's looking good. There is a tiny little spot (like the size of a pin) that is questionable, but this is not the worst news we could have. If it is a bleed, it wouldn't even qualify as a grade I intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH). A grade I is the smallest category of brain bleeds. They will do another follow-up head ultrasound next week, but are feeling pretty good at this point.

The little guy has also reached the 1 kg mark...his first weight milestone! At last weigh in, he was 1083 g (1.083 kg)! Before each feed, the nurse puts a little on his lips, so that he can get used to the taste of the milk. It's amazing how instinctual we are...he has even started making sucking motions with his mouth when the time for dinner nears!

Other than that, another pretty slow news day...yippee for that. Sha is now 28+4 weeks gestational age...and everyday closer to term is a good day, especially one without too many complications!

Gifts of Love and Support

From Colleen and Mike

From Kimh, JH and HH

From Great Aunt Sherry and Great Uncle Ron

From John and Barb

From Del

From Donna

From Great Aunt Carolann and Great Uncle Stu

From Dr. C, Alicia and Little H

From Dr. C, Alicia and Little H

From Dr. C, Alicia and Little H

From Auntie D and family

From Auntie D and family

From Uncle Kabooblah

Day 18 of Life - July 6th

Ma's appointment with Dr. M went well. He was really pleased with the progress of her incision and said that it looks 6 weeks old, instead of 2! He also told her that she should do what she thinks is best with the medication, especially until her follow-up appointment with IM, but that if her diastolic goes over 100 to start taking the medication again. She has another appointment in about 4 weeks' time.

Well, Little Sha is once again proving to be difficult, but this time, not in a good way. Last night, when Ma walked into the NICU after her appointment, they were hand-bagging the little one. Ma stood quietly by while the NICU staff did his breathing manually for him, until they got him stabilized. He was basically having apnea (when he forgets to breathe) and bradycardia (when his heart slows down). These episodes usually go hand-in-hand and could potentially be caused by his PDA. He is stable now, but they have had to increase his flow rate to 56 and his oxygen to 40%. They were considering putting him back on the high frequency ventilator this morning, but as of right now, he continues on the conventional vent. Since they have turned up his flow rate, though, he hasn't had any more spells.

He has had his chest X-ray and head ultrasound today. The chest X-ray showed that his lungs are very damaged, which is to be expected, considering he's not really supposed to be using them yet. The good thing about lung tissue, however, is that it regenerates itself very quickly and easily, so hopefully, when his oxygen requirements come down, they will start to heal. The official head ultrasound results should be available tomorrow.

The docs will likely start him on Indomethacin again over the weekend. They hope that it will close the PDA, but are prepared to discuss surgery with Ma and Pa on Monday, if necessary. Even if it does work, though, there is always a chance that it will re-open.

The good news is that the little one has now been increased to 3 cc of breastmilk every 2 hours. Despite all of the stress he's under, food seems to be the one thing that he can handle!!! He's comfortable and is now tolerating handling, as he was quite irritable this morning. Even a little guy, such as him, is entitled to be grumpy once in awhile!

I stopped in to see him on my way home from work and he looks really good. His little mouth is a cute little bow...although until now, I never really understood what that meant...but his is perfect. Every time I see him, he looks a little heavier...which is a really good sign. I took some pics with Ma and Pa's camera, although not as good as what Pa does, and hopefully I will have them posted tomorrow.

Day 17 of Life - July 5th

Sha was re-intubated today with a larger air tube, as he had outgrown his first one. As a result, some air was actually escaping, causing bubbles to come out of his mouth. They had to sedate him for this procedure, but his oxygen requirements decreased almost immediately. His requirements are still rather high (approx. 34%), but his PDA probably isn't helping the situation. This new tube will be much more efficient in keeping the oxygen where it's supposed to be.

The docs have decided to try Indomethacin again to close the PDA, but Ma got the impression that they didn't think that it would work. They will likely start this near the end of the week or early next week, when he is off the antibiotics for his infection. If it doesn't work, then the next option is surgery. The procedure for this is incredibly successful, especially for stable babies, but it does cause them stress. We will keep our fingers crossed that the Indomethacin works and surgery won't be necessary.

Sha is scheduled to have a head ultrasound tomorrow. They won't have official results for awhile, however, Ma has asked his doc this week if she can review the film with him. This will help put her mind at ease. So, hopefully, we will have some idea about what is going on with Sha's brain tomorrow.

Ma had her first follow-up appointment with her OB, Dr. M, today. As of yet, I don't have any information about how this appointment went, but if there's anything important, I will update you as soon as I have the information. She has a follow-up appointment with Internal Medicine next week (I think), which will deal specifically with her blood pressure. As to her blood pressure, it's actually quite low right now, so she has stopped taking the one medication, as she has felt dizzy a couple of times. She was going to discuss this with Dr. M today.

Day 16 of Life - UPDATE

There's not much to update, which is good news! He actually had a cardiology consult today, which confirmed that his PDA is indeed opened again. No decision has been made on the treatment, as of yet. His platelets are almost back to a normal level. Otherwise, the little one is resting and comfortable.

The Blessing

The "dress" (smock).

The creator of the smock.

The little one, ready to be blessed.

His first lock of hair, removed for one of his transfusions.

The blankie.

Some of the family.

A Letter to My Nephew

As I was lying in bed last night, I realized that all of my posts are technical and that I haven't really taken the opportunity to write specifically to Sha. I have decided that it's about time that I do this. So, everyone please bear with me...you can always stop reading!

To My Dearest, Most Precious Nephew, Sha:

Welcome to the world, Buddy! There are so many things that I need to say to you. First of all, I have to admit that when I found out about your existence, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, the joy that I felt cannot be explained in words. There is only one thing greater than being a mother...and that's being an auntie. As I am technically an only child, your mother is the only "sister" that I've got. We've known eachother for most of our lives; we've been there for eachother through the good times and the not so good times. Other than your Lord Uncle B, she is definitely one of the most important non-blood related people in my life. And even when you factor in the blood relatives, she still ranks pretty high on the list of important people in my life. She is the person I turn to in my life when I need advice, when I need to laugh, when I need to cry and when I just need to be myself. She is my rock. And for this reason, when I found out about you, I was also afraid. I'm not a person who adapts well to change...to which your mother can attest. I knew that my life was about to change forever...and I didn't know what to think or what to expect.

Through you mom's pregnancy, things were tough. She never felt good and was never truly herself. (And she'll probably bring this up in the future when you're giving her a hard time, which will likely be often, based on your behaviour so far!) But, then you arrived...3.5 months early and tiny as can be. We all quickly came to the realization that you were worth every minute of the not-so-fun pregnancy! Even now, when you're just over 2 weeks old, it's hard to imagine that someone so tiny could steal my heart so quickly.

Tonight, you are being blessed, surrounded by people that love you. And even though I'm not there, never think for one minute that I'm not totally in love with you! Technically, you are being blessed tonight...but I think you're blessed already. In the future, if you ever feel that no one loves you, look back at all of the love and support in this blog (and in your baby book). You are truly blessed, as one of the most loved little boys in the whole wide world. And your Lord Uncle B and I are leading the pack.

Always remember that no matter what you need, your Lord Uncle B and I are there for you...whether you need someone to run interference with your parents or someone to tell secrets to...or just to have some fun...we're here. We will always love you like you are ours...because in a way, you are.

But besides being blessed, you are a true blessing to every life that you have touched and will touch. When I saw you for the first time, a couple of hours after you came into this world, I stared at you, as you lay there in all of your glory. You were spread eagle, for all the world to see (should have got some embarassing pics of that for later!), as if to say, "Yeah, this is the way I am, like it or leave it." Even then, I could tell that you were you're mama's boy. You lay there, with a machine doing your breathing for you, preparing to fight for your life. And I knew then and there, that you were going to be just fine and you were going to be a handful someday!

A couple of days after you were born, your mother and I came to see you in the NICU for the first time together. We gazed at your tiny little form, splayed out in the incubator, with our arms wrapped around eachother, crying. (I'm sure all of our co-workers thought we were nuts!!!) We were and still are in awe of your perfection, your spirit, your stubborness and your will to live. You are an inspiration to us all.

By now, you've probably figured out that I can talk just as much as your mother...and you'd be right! It's not something that I'm ashamed of, but I'm sure that it drives your Lord Uncle B nuts sometimes!!! So, I'll finish with this...

I love you, Little One. I thank God everyday for the gift your life has given me. You have opened my eyes to so much in the short time you've been with us. I look forward to the many more lessons that I'm sure you'll teach me...just don't rub it in when you're older!

Love always and forever,
Auntie Carrie and Lord Uncle B

Day 16 of Life - July 4th

Little Sha is once again following in his mama's footsteps. He is now retaining water like crazy. Before Ma was induced, she was retaining water and her ankles, in particular, swelled up like sausages. Her ankles basically disappeared and became cankles! This was due to her incredibly high blood pressure. Thankfully, she's back to normal. For Sha, the docs figure that the water retention is being caused by his PDA being open again. He has a cardiology consult for tomorrow afternoon, at which point they will decide whether they are going to try Indomethacin again or whether they'll opt for surgery.

Otherwise, the little one's oxygen requirements have gone up again, to approximately 47%, which is also due to his PDA. He is still comfortable and behaving well.

When the doctors suspect an infection, there are several tests that they run. One of the most important ones, though, is the blood culture. They take a sample of his blood and "grow it" for 48 hours. If there is an infection present, then it will begin to grow a culture within that time and they can test to see what type of infection it is. Little Sha's blood culture grew a Staphylococcus Epidermidis (staph epi) infection. This infection lives on the skin and items of frequent contact. The good news is that they had already started him on the drugs necessary to cure this infection. Today, they decided to stop the one drug, but will continue with the other, likely for a full 7 days (the usual administration duration).

Little Sha is also being blessed tonight, in the presence of his family. Ma jokes that he gets to wear a "dress". Pictures will follow.

Ma is nearing the end of her fight with HR over her sick benefits. The final decision between all of the agencies involved is that Ma can either take her 15 weeks sick time OR she can take her 17.5 weeks of maternity leave (only 15 weeks of which is paid). If she takes the sick time, then she forfeits her right to her mat leave. After this time, she will still be eligible for 35 weeks parental leave, which she can begin at any time. The real crappy thing about this is that when Sha is finally released from hospital, Ma will only have 6.5 months left with him. This also messes up Ma and Pa's original plan of sharing the leave. Ma and Pa were going to take the first month off together and then Pa was going to take the last month by himself. However, when they are off together for one month, that actually counts as 2 months of the parental leave. Ma has a couple of more phone calls that she wants to make, but it looks as though this is the way it is going to be. I told her that she should make revising and fighting this law her new mission, as she has been looking for one for awhile. Anyway, stay tuned.

Day 15 of Life - UPDATE

Little Sha is now receiving 2 cc of breastmilk every 2 hours. Little piglet! There is still no sign of infection, but he is still receiving his antibiotics, just in case. Other than that, not much is happening with the little one. They might give him another infusion of platelets tonight, as his platelets are still low. One of the thoughts now is that he might have a blood clot. They are going to do an abdominal ultrasound to see if this is the case, but it would explain his low platelet count. If he does have a blood clot, then they will give him a blood thinner to help get rid of it, but, we won't know more until the ultrasound has been done.

Pa didn't have a chance to hold Sha today, but Ma and Pa did spend some more quality time with the little one.

Day 15 of Life - July 3rd

Sha has now reached 28 weeks gestational age. In some ways, the last 2 weeks have seemed like months, but in the same sense, it's so hard to believe that he's already 27 weeks. Such a precious little one.

The staff have started Sha on antibiotics (Vancomycin and Cephotaxime), but all of his test are coming back negative for infection. However, his platelets are low, so they are giving him a transfusion of platelets only. This can be a sign of infection, but he is acting normally.

They won't be starting him on Indomethacin for his PDA at this point, since it will be counterproductive to the platelets that they are giving him. His PDA is not causing any major difficulties at this point (ie. blood pressure), so they will continue to wait and see if it closes on its own.

His flow rate went up to 25 again through the night, but is now back down to 22. Otherwise, the little one is doing well. A head ultrasound will be scheduled for this week and hopefully, we'll get the answers that we're looking for.

Ma and Pa have gone into see the little one. Hopefully his nurse will let Pa hold him today.

Everyone keeps asking Ma what they can do for this new family. She has asked me to let everyone know that she really appreciates all of the offers of support. However, not much can be done at this time, so if you really wish to do something, Ma recommends giving blood (as Sha has received 2 complete transfusions and 1 platelet infusion). There are also NICU wristbands for sale ($4 each), with the proceeds going to the Parents Supporting Parents Group. This group is run by parents of "graduates" of the NICU (babies that have been discharged) and is a support for parents with babies currently in the NICU. As you can imagine, this is an overwhelming and difficult time for any parent and this group seeks to educate and offer emotional support to families that may not have other sources. So, if any of you are interested in purchasing bracelets, please let me know (babyshabooblah@hotmail.com). Thanks once again for all of your love and support...although I'll try not to say this EVERYDAY!!!

Family Bonding Time

Enjoying the moment.

Getting comfortable.

In awe.

Content at last.

A mother's love.

Finally, a family!

One much loved little boy.

Just like his daddy.

"They're already wrapped around my little fingers."

"I just want to sleep, people."

Comfy and cozy.

"It's all good."

Still managing to kick mommy in the stomach!

Day 14 of Life - July 2nd - Happy 2 weeks!

A few new developments for Sha today... Bad news first... The docs believe that his PDA has re-opened, so he'll likely receive another dose of Indomethacin this week. His blood pressure is in the normal range, so they aren't going to start treatment yet, in the hopes that it will close on its own. Also, they believe that he might have an infection, so they'll restart him on the antibiotics that he was on after he was born. Good news next... They have turned his flow rate down to 15 and he's breathing approximately 60-80 breaths per minute, so only 15 of those are mechanical.

Ma's blood pressure is quite good, although some days its higher than others. Today she says her diastolic (the bottom number) is borderline death...as it is so low!

Ma was the one who got to hold Sha today. There is a lot involved with getting him positioned outside of the incubator... They basically have to unattach all of his lines to get him out of his "prison", which means that he doesn't have the machine breathing for him until they hook him back up. His nurse today was not sure how well he would tolerate the "handling", so many staff were available in case they had to get him back into his incubator quickly. However, little Sha tolerated this very well and was able to sit with Ma for 3 hours. This type of hold is called kangarooing. This is a very important technique, as he is able to stay warm from Ma's body heat and also hears her heart beat, reminding him of when he was still on the inside! Ma reports that she now feels more like a mother.

Hopefully, Pa will be able to kangaroo the little one tomorrow. It will depend on the nurse tomorrow...as this can be a stressful situation for the staff as well...especially considering that he is temporarily unhooked from all life support systems. Stay tuned...if Pa gets to hold him, we'll have pictures!