Why doesn't Hallmark make a card?

We are going to visit the NICU on Friday.

I have run into my OB/GYN once post-op. (He was oncall and he was the lucky one. I hadn't picked an OB/GYN, it was handed to me, I was kinda thinking about having a girlllll.) Outside of the hospital. A nonchalant greeting where I just couldn't think of the right words.

What do you think of this?

"I know that we casually run into each other in the hallway. I know that you have phoned me and emailed me about work stuff. Thank you. I hope you don't think I am crazy. I do not handle drugs well. I know that we once had a working dinner together where we sat at the same table and chatted about your kids iceskating. Thank you for being my OB/GYN.

Thank you for humouring me when I asked you for the intracasies of preeclampsia and whether it was the blood pressure or the spilling of proteins that was going to kill me. I did not have Google at my beck and call at my bedside. I understand that you are a high-risk professional. I am not. Thank you not jesting my feeble attempts to convince you that we could wait a couple more days and that I promised not to meet my maker on your watch. That was sweet.

Did I mention I was in a ward room with some very interesting folks who (one day when I learn the fine art of patient confidentiality rules) I will write a book about?

I'm sorry that I introduced myself to the entire surgery staff by saying, Hi, I'm Ma, welcome to my birth story. I'm sorry I asked you if you had up-to-date insurance and if you could make sure my scar would still allow me to wear a bikini (yeah....). I'm sorry I questioned the nurse about how many cathaders she had performed in her career. I'm sorry I made a comment about knowing it was you, by your eyes, even though you had that funny mask on. I'm sorry that I made a kick at your head. I'm sorry that I questioned why the surgical table is a wafer thin (especially because pregnant people aren't skinny). I'm sorry that my husband had to velcro me down to the table because I was thinking about running down the hall with an open C-section. I'm sorry that I asked you to get me a diet coke while you were performing vital, lifesaving surgery.

You did a great job! :-)

Thank you for ordering that the guy with the serious drugs to put me under."

I'm sorry mag sulfate gives me verbal diarreha.

Woman say to other woman who are anticipating labour, don't worry they see it all the time. They won't remember any of it. It is their job, you know.

But I work there. I will cross paths with him again.

I think I should pen a hallmark just in case.