A few wacky things about my pregnancy
Some things you probably didn't need to know:
I asked Auntie to be a surrogate baby maker from about the age of 14. (You can ask her, it is true). I never offered to return the favour.
I googled ovulation calender and charted out the fertile days...poor Pa. When I saw the lines on the stick I said "What have we done?" Pa said..."Everything is going to be fine...what is wrong with you?"
I thought Pa was trying to kill me with deodorant and leather shoes. Turns out it was my hyper smell-o-meter.
Auntie had to drive me to work because I was not functional enough to drive the car.
I had strange cravings and ate chilly fries and a large chocolate milkshake...and threw it all up. I gave up Diet Coke.
Pa knew I was home by the trail of clothes from the front door to our room. I would sleep until morning.
I freaked out about laminate flooring in the nursery at week 12 because I had a feeling we were going to be in the NICU and I didn't want Pa working on the nursery if this happened.
Sha's ultrasounds kept missing a kidney and I thought that was something to panic about. (Not a problem!)
I have an entire wardrobe of summer wear maternity clothes that I didn't wear. I refuse to wear them in public now, so I call them "Sha can barf on them" shirts.
Pa brought Ma a "Glamour" magazine when she was admitted to the hospital. (He has high hopes for Ma!)
I ate a sausage from the weenie man on the steps of the hospital (even though I was told to go straight there...oops!).
Although I asked over and over again if I was being admitted, I knew things were bad when I got an armband.
I asked Dr. H to bargain some time from Dr. G. I asked for 1 more day. (Secretly thinking that if I could get one more day of pregnancy, I would then bargain for another day). I think my secret plan was written all over my face.
I begged Auntie to go out and get me some Croclike shoes. (and of course, she did!) I was petrified that Dr. C. might see my feet which really, really needed a pedicure.
I sobbed through the NICU tour, even though I was trying to be the "strong one". Pa stayed strong enough for all of us.
I think I had my first anxiety attack in the delivery room when Sha was born. Eek! I do remember introducing myself to everyone in the delivery room (Hi, I'm Nancy, welcome to my delivery!...drugs), trying to pull off the mask, some resident asking if I felt pressure or pain (huh? Is there a difference?), and the happy white stuff they put in my IV. I do not remember telling the room that Pa is a great husband and for a Diet Coke. But Pa remembers this part!
I remember waking up in the recovery room and thinking it was really funny that my family looked like they were going by on an escalator. (again, it was the drugs). I remember trying to remember to ask for Sha's Apgars.
I was wheeled into the NICU on a bed. I do not remember seeing Sha.
More tomorrow!
I asked Auntie to be a surrogate baby maker from about the age of 14. (You can ask her, it is true). I never offered to return the favour.
I googled ovulation calender and charted out the fertile days...poor Pa. When I saw the lines on the stick I said "What have we done?" Pa said..."Everything is going to be fine...what is wrong with you?"
I thought Pa was trying to kill me with deodorant and leather shoes. Turns out it was my hyper smell-o-meter.
Auntie had to drive me to work because I was not functional enough to drive the car.
I had strange cravings and ate chilly fries and a large chocolate milkshake...and threw it all up. I gave up Diet Coke.
Pa knew I was home by the trail of clothes from the front door to our room. I would sleep until morning.
I freaked out about laminate flooring in the nursery at week 12 because I had a feeling we were going to be in the NICU and I didn't want Pa working on the nursery if this happened.
Sha's ultrasounds kept missing a kidney and I thought that was something to panic about. (Not a problem!)
I have an entire wardrobe of summer wear maternity clothes that I didn't wear. I refuse to wear them in public now, so I call them "Sha can barf on them" shirts.
Pa brought Ma a "Glamour" magazine when she was admitted to the hospital. (He has high hopes for Ma!)
I ate a sausage from the weenie man on the steps of the hospital (even though I was told to go straight there...oops!).
Although I asked over and over again if I was being admitted, I knew things were bad when I got an armband.
I asked Dr. H to bargain some time from Dr. G. I asked for 1 more day. (Secretly thinking that if I could get one more day of pregnancy, I would then bargain for another day). I think my secret plan was written all over my face.
I begged Auntie to go out and get me some Croclike shoes. (and of course, she did!) I was petrified that Dr. C. might see my feet which really, really needed a pedicure.
I sobbed through the NICU tour, even though I was trying to be the "strong one". Pa stayed strong enough for all of us.
I think I had my first anxiety attack in the delivery room when Sha was born. Eek! I do remember introducing myself to everyone in the delivery room (Hi, I'm Nancy, welcome to my delivery!...drugs), trying to pull off the mask, some resident asking if I felt pressure or pain (huh? Is there a difference?), and the happy white stuff they put in my IV. I do not remember telling the room that Pa is a great husband and for a Diet Coke. But Pa remembers this part!
I remember waking up in the recovery room and thinking it was really funny that my family looked like they were going by on an escalator. (again, it was the drugs). I remember trying to remember to ask for Sha's Apgars.
I was wheeled into the NICU on a bed. I do not remember seeing Sha.
More tomorrow!
posted by Like duh! @ 1:49 a.m.
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