Rhotorical Rant
Ever had one of those days where you are convinced that you probably know nothing about anything? Just returned from my meeting with the Foundation office...which was great. They are very open to all fundraising opportunities and gave me some information about how to begin a fundraising event.
But then on the drive home, I got to thinking about me. And if I can really pull this off. Whepfh. It feels like jumping off a cliff and just hoping the chute opens behind you. I often wonder about people with long studied careers, and I think next lifetime (if infact there is another!), I would like a degree, with some long fancy name that no one really knows or understands...and then I could look up at that piece of paper and know that I actually do know at least one thing for sure about something. How do people know what they want to do? Are they called? And how can you be called to a job you don't even know exists? And do they doubt themselves, or do they just know that they know things?
So I stopped on my way home to get some comfort food at Loblaws. A huge container of Boccucini and tomato salad. $16.00 worth. "Are you going to a party?". Ummm. Yeah, that's it. (Actually going to drive down the road eating this oversized party sized container, contemplating and driving).
I really hope that I'm Seven Ways to Kevin Bacon. I really hope that I don't end up at this event standing in the park alone with Auntie, Mrs Cowboy and Dee...
Fundraising events. Why do I continue to fill my life with chaos? Ok, because I thrive on it...deep breath. I'm pretty sure I can do this. All I can really hope for is that I set the spark, fan the flames and hope it catches fire.
There has to be more than this.
But then on the drive home, I got to thinking about me. And if I can really pull this off. Whepfh. It feels like jumping off a cliff and just hoping the chute opens behind you. I often wonder about people with long studied careers, and I think next lifetime (if infact there is another!), I would like a degree, with some long fancy name that no one really knows or understands...and then I could look up at that piece of paper and know that I actually do know at least one thing for sure about something. How do people know what they want to do? Are they called? And how can you be called to a job you don't even know exists? And do they doubt themselves, or do they just know that they know things?
So I stopped on my way home to get some comfort food at Loblaws. A huge container of Boccucini and tomato salad. $16.00 worth. "Are you going to a party?". Ummm. Yeah, that's it. (Actually going to drive down the road eating this oversized party sized container, contemplating and driving).
I really hope that I'm Seven Ways to Kevin Bacon. I really hope that I don't end up at this event standing in the park alone with Auntie, Mrs Cowboy and Dee...
Fundraising events. Why do I continue to fill my life with chaos? Ok, because I thrive on it...deep breath. I'm pretty sure I can do this. All I can really hope for is that I set the spark, fan the flames and hope it catches fire.
There has to be more than this.
posted by Like duh! @ 2:56 p.m.
2 Comments:
At 4:15 p.m.,
Anonymous said…
the neighbours said.....
Ma - if there is anyone that can pull this event off it is you. You are abviously a very strong willed and determined young woman. You can count on all of us neighbours to be there for your walk. I know i wouldn't miss it for the world.
At 1:29 p.m.,
Like duh! said…
Alright, Smarty Pants, listen up... you do this to yourself because you do in fact thrive on it. You've spent the last couple of years looking for a cause...and now you have one...and a beautiful son. You want to give something back to the people that helped save your son's life...because you are a caring, unselfish person.
You won't be left standing in a field by yourself because you will kick butt if no one shows...and they know it (and I'm always here to help with that part!). Your son has inspired many people, as will you...because after all, he had to get it somewhere (no offense Pa!)!!!
So, stop worrying that you're going to crash into the side of the cliff...you can do this; you will do this; I have total and absolute faith in you. Besides, I'm always here to catch you if you fall...and there's also the added bonus of comforting yourself with food...
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