To my pump

Dear Needy, my pumping machine:

The past 3 months with you have been awkward and tiring. You are not my friend. You pinch me. I have secret fantasies of your demise. I have thought about throwing you out the window, tossing you out of a boat and smashing you with a hammer into tiny pieces of plastic and metal. I wish you were not so expensive, or you would have bit the dust by now.

There was one day when I forgot to plug you into an outlet for power. You ran on your backup battery (which I didn't know you had) and then you stopped working. I was thrilled. I think that was our best day together, so far.

Unfortunately for me, Pa figured out the problem, plugged you in and brought you back to life.

If you were a helpful pump, you would be fitted with an applause sound track to encourage me to continue. We have alot of months ahead of us...

On the magical day I hand you back into the LCs at work, I am throwing myself a little party.

Ma