Teething is tough
Motherhood has changed. Mothers have entered the workforce. They don't have jobs, they have careers. They now have the ability to purchase the newest craze for their child. Moms can afford the best in speciality walking shoes, black and white visually stimulating mobiles, Beethoven's symphony CD...if they make it, we can buy it. We have our own money and the pressure to invest in children's RESPs is, infact, the new black. Mothers are intent on raising the next generation of world changers, stock market brokers, NHL athletes or high profiled lawyers.
No one, it seems, is intent on raising the next local garbageman.
And we will buy it, especially if they claim to make our children into someone smarter or happier or calmer or Bono.
But there is a shift. We are able to afford to purchase the gadgets and the gear. However, there are many things we can't purchase.
Items not for sale.
Home blended babyfood. Is there irony in using Lysol to wipe down the countertop to cut up your organically grown pesticide-free bananas?
Babywearing, breastmilk, cosleeping, sign language. This is the new trend. Heck, some people are even using cloth diapers made from old flannel shirts. If your child is teething and you are awake at 4am you can enlighten your nomadic parenting brain with doses of message board banter.
Once you are attune to the basics you can qualify to shift gears into the top graces of motherhood. The highest advisors who write messages in shortform because they are too busy sewing clothes to type in sentences. A code language only interpreted by an elite few. There is DH (dear husband), BAK (breastfeeding at keyboard), EC (elimination communication - the ability to get your child to forgo diapers and pee on demand), and CIO (cry it out).
CIO is the idea that you would teach your child to self soothe and cry themselves to sleep. Thereby, learning a technique within a week to fall asleep very quickly. On their own.
Teething is my enemy.
I'm tired. I am CIOing myself. Creditcard Infomercial Ordering. CIO. It works. I feel better already!
My rotissery. It cooks food in half the time. You can order now and they will make one payment. An entire payment off of the price. It comes with a cookbook and all of the grease runs off the food and you get two extra baskets. But wait! Call now and you get a knife that is guaranteed to last until doomsday. Only pay shipping and handling....
Yawn.
No one, it seems, is intent on raising the next local garbageman.
And we will buy it, especially if they claim to make our children into someone smarter or happier or calmer or Bono.
But there is a shift. We are able to afford to purchase the gadgets and the gear. However, there are many things we can't purchase.
Items not for sale.
Home blended babyfood. Is there irony in using Lysol to wipe down the countertop to cut up your organically grown pesticide-free bananas?
Babywearing, breastmilk, cosleeping, sign language. This is the new trend. Heck, some people are even using cloth diapers made from old flannel shirts. If your child is teething and you are awake at 4am you can enlighten your nomadic parenting brain with doses of message board banter.
Once you are attune to the basics you can qualify to shift gears into the top graces of motherhood. The highest advisors who write messages in shortform because they are too busy sewing clothes to type in sentences. A code language only interpreted by an elite few. There is DH (dear husband), BAK (breastfeeding at keyboard), EC (elimination communication - the ability to get your child to forgo diapers and pee on demand), and CIO (cry it out).
CIO is the idea that you would teach your child to self soothe and cry themselves to sleep. Thereby, learning a technique within a week to fall asleep very quickly. On their own.
Teething is my enemy.
I'm tired. I am CIOing myself. Creditcard Infomercial Ordering. CIO. It works. I feel better already!
My rotissery. It cooks food in half the time. You can order now and they will make one payment. An entire payment off of the price. It comes with a cookbook and all of the grease runs off the food and you get two extra baskets. But wait! Call now and you get a knife that is guaranteed to last until doomsday. Only pay shipping and handling....
Yawn.
posted by Like duh! @ 2:35 a.m.
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