I wish...

I had a camera that shot night vision videos in black and white in the dark. You are such a little ham. You lay in my bed, in the dark, where I am trying to not play too much with you, watch Leno, and hope that you will settle to sleep. It is suppose to end with me carrying you, sleeping to your crib for the night. Instead, you roll over and over and over and laugh in my face, your giggly happy baby laugh. It feels like a movie, a scripted Hollywood scene. Something so sweet and perfect and happy couldn't possibly happen in real life. But it is. And you roll around more. You grunt and strain to stay up on your arms so you can touch your forehead against mine until I only have one eye and then you turn your head, back and forth and back and forth, and giggle. Your sweet giggle. And you do it again and again and again. Because it is the funniest thing you have ever seen. And more rolling and giggling and you try to flip off the bed because you think you can fly. More giggling when I save you by your arm and pull back to the middle. It starts again. Over and over and over. Your giggling, your pushing on me with your feet to feel their strength, your tiny fingers shoved up my nose or in my ear or in my eye. Or pulling my fistfulls of my hair. It doesn't sound sweet, but it is, because you are so innocent and happy.

You curl up on the crook of my neck, like a little rag doll and fall into your happy dreams. You smile and you giggle when you sleep and your entire body shakes because you are remembering something fun...hopefully me.

I wish I could share it with everyone. This midnight cuteness. But with the lights on and the camera angles, it just isn't the same. It is a "you have to be there" kind of moment.

Somethings are best kept for Mommies.