The secret society of pumping

The pumping room should be renamed the Reassurance Room. I understand that there are many reasons why mothers decide to pump milk for their babies. But in the NICU the reason many of the mothers pump is partly to do with the fellowship of being with other mothers in the pumping room.

Behind those closed doors mothers reach to each other about their darkest fears for their childrens' futures, discuss birthing tramas, rehash ideal visiting scenarios, discuss feeding and surgeries, remind each other that other people have been through the same successes and failures and laugh and cry. I even caught myself shouting out a "Yahoo" for another Mom who had a good result last week.

I suppose it has been what has made me stick to the pumping. The reflective time with other women. It really is the only time that we aren't stuck like glue to the bedside thinking about everything that will happen and what did happen.

And most times the my answer is the same. There are so many non medical issues when you have a child in crisis and most time there is no clear answer. There isn't a life pamphlet on how to react to this situation.

Trust your heart, trust your gut. Give yourself permission. Those are my answers.

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."